I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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