So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i drank out of a bidet.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
