Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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