its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
