bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
whose parrot is this?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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