I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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