after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
