Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
