Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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