everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
