I just gift wrapped bread.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
bring money and cleavage
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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