the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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