idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
