My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
