I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
