Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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