standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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