I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
