Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
