You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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