Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize