Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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