Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
