All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
