of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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