I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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