i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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