i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
