i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
