how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
