My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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