I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
