just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
