READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
