so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
