I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize