Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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