Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
