I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
