what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
it's like iHOP with fire
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
As shirtless as possible
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
