She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
soo... how was my night?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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