sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize