I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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