Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
