so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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