could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Is it penis luge time yet?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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