Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
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When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
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I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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