you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
