If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
