i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
