yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
