He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
