scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
