i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
now i know why i became what i already was.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
