so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
