You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
