so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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