Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
As shirtless as possible
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
