"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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