haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Found your dick twin last night
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize