oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
