Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
