I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
