Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
3 2 1 whiskey
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
